Waiting to Wait

I find myself in this strange purgatory in my life.

It feels as if I am waiting to wait….

We are immensely lucky that we both have our jobs and they are safe in this economic environment. My school district is doing cuts that are numbered in the millions of dollars and Dave’s work is shifting positions to expand their distance of demand.

With that said… we are in a holding pattern of our life.

Our time might become a bit more limited and our family life is going to shift. For the betterment of our life… perhaps… we will both be taking on new responsibilities as parents and having to learn how to cram our life with the kids into the few hours we can.

We will also have to learn how to be partners with one another on a different level. We have one of the best relationships I've ever been in, he is selfless, caring and dedicated to our family. It is not as if I'm worried about anything right now, but I don't want to ever be in the position where I would.

Getting in those few hours here and there that we can, with my non-profit that will be started in a few months, Booster club duties and being a mom and his baseball, work and being a dad… we will have to learn how to be “us”.

Date nights are a priority; we need to have that time to ourselves where we can remember why we fell in love. Going away for the weekend to a quiet place, sitting on the porch next to a river or even just camping in the backyard are things that need to become the norm if this shifts the way I think it will.

Again, I am waiting, waiting to see what will happen.

Patience has never been a virtue of mine, I’m a girl that takes a hold of something and molds it around my life, or my life around it. I’m in a holding pattern and I have no idea what I’m doing.

Luckily… I’m a focused girl, so once I put my mind to something… it happens.

So it will.

Love without Ego

Could you love without ego?

Could you love without lashing out in a reaction to someone because of something they did?

I think this is a way that many relationships end, because they allow it all to get into the way.

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• Your significant other does something out of "character". Perhaps something as simple as NOT doing something they have done in the past.

• You react by pulling away from them, slightly, as a punishment for their transgression.

• Feeling slighted, rightfully so, and they do not do what they did in the past AND pull back.

• You feel them pull back, and so you retaliate once again.

• You both feel slighted and wronged, and no one is doing what you used to do then suddenly someone else comes along who does. Where do you think you are going to go?

Could this have been avoided?

HELL yes!!

What if you chose to not "punish" your partner? To allow them to have their bad days or to react how they need to without retaliation from you?

Would they walk all over you? Would they follow suit? Would they even notice? (If you think they would walk all over you, do you think that you should still be in that relationship?)

I think this is something I should work on, though Dave and I have an amazing ability to converse, I find myself doing this at times. Sometimes over something that is not important enough to remember the next day. How sad is that?

How about you? Do you find yourself "punishing" your significant other or worse, destroying your relationship over a small slight? Could you love without ego? Could you love without saying.. " I love you because....."? Leave off the reasons, and the stipulations.... could you love your S.O., just to love them?

Working at Love

Is a relationship work?

I have thought about this question over and over, and I came to the conclusion tonight in the shower…

Yes.

I know… many of you want to argue… some just for the sake of arguing, but please hear me out.

Love

*You stay up until 2am talking on the phone to one another.

*Every hour or so there is a text message that says “Two more hours until I can be in your arms”

*It takes your breath away when you kiss them, knees buckle, heart race, cheeks flush

*They are suddenly your muse, poetry and verse spill from your lips in every letter.

*None of their flaws matter.

Work

*You can not stay up until 2am, it’ll kill ya. So you have to come up with a new way to show them you love them. Curl your arms around them, tolerate their nightly rituals or leave them notes when you go to work in the AM

*You pick up flowers when you are at the store, or driving by a field. You find a rock and draw a heart on it and leave it in their car.

*You kiss them out of habit, but once a day you make it a point to look them in the eye and kiss them like it’s the first time.

*The internet becomes your poet, Shakespeare created love.

*You write down their flaws and realize… “It really isn’t all that bad”

When love is the BAD kind of work

When you no longer want to do those things or when seeing them fills your heart with dread. If you can no longer say “I love you” and mean it.

I do not mind working for love, do not mind thinking about how to make them happy. I thought that was what it was all about. Finding the one who you wouldn’t mind putting up with… forever.

How about all of you? Do you have a love that is worth continuing? What do you do for your mate that shows them that you are working at the relationship?