Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Working at Love

Is a relationship work?

I have thought about this question over and over, and I came to the conclusion tonight in the shower…


I know… many of you want to argue… some just for the sake of arguing, but please hear me out.


*You stay up until 2am talking on the phone to one another.

*Every hour or so there is a text message that says “Two more hours until I can be in your arms”

*It takes your breath away when you kiss them, knees buckle, heart race, cheeks flush

*They are suddenly your muse, poetry and verse spill from your lips in every letter.

*None of their flaws matter.


*You can not stay up until 2am, it’ll kill ya. So you have to come up with a new way to show them you love them. Curl your arms around them, tolerate their nightly rituals or leave them notes when you go to work in the AM

*You pick up flowers when you are at the store, or driving by a field. You find a rock and draw a heart on it and leave it in their car.

*You kiss them out of habit, but once a day you make it a point to look them in the eye and kiss them like it’s the first time.

*The internet becomes your poet, Shakespeare created love.

*You write down their flaws and realize… “It really isn’t all that bad”

When love is the BAD kind of work

When you no longer want to do those things or when seeing them fills your heart with dread. If you can no longer say “I love you” and mean it.

I do not mind working for love, do not mind thinking about how to make them happy. I thought that was what it was all about. Finding the one who you wouldn’t mind putting up with… forever.

How about all of you? Do you have a love that is worth continuing? What do you do for your mate that shows them that you are working at the relationship?


Jadekitty said...

Your questions really hit home for me lately.. I would say I do have a love/marriage worth working for. I am working so hard, some days I burn out. I am giving my all, but I normally feel it's not good enough for him.. So now what? That is what I want to know..
Hope your "work" is more enjoyable then mine lately :)

Erin Tales said...

Hey ... I need to tell you that YOU WON!


And I agree with you 100%!

Karla said...

I'm lucky that I do have a love worth fighting for. We've never been the couple that spends endless amount of money, I'd rather have his time. A smaller, thoughtful gift or gesture is what we both prefer.

What do we do? I leave notes on the mirror, or in his lunch. I text him with small, intimate messages here and there. He makes me breakfast, picks up dinner, or takes a bath with me. It's never really consistent or planned, but I think it makes it much more special.

margelina said...

Chris and I do have a love worth fighting and working for. I totally agree with you that it is hard work...it is very easy to get busy and put aside eachother in favor of chores, errands, and sleep! There are definitely periods of time where we have both slacked off and not made time for eachother like we should, and have otherwise been lazy about working on our marriage.
This tends to happen more when life gets crazy and we are in constant motion. We allow ourselves to acknowledge that things are crazy, and that as soon as things settle down we will devote more time to eachother. We need to verbally acknowledge this so that we both know we are on the same page, and that of course would rather be cuddling on the couch with the other. Keeping the communication open is a biggie, as well as helping the other if they feel overwhelmed. We have to work like a team to survive!

cancer mommy said...

A good relationship is worth the work. We do small things, call each other just to check in, try and get out alone once in a while. But usually I feel like we could do more.

Your post got me thinking. And I posted a few musings on my blog... cancermommy.ning.com. Thanks for spurring some ideas. Oh, and I linked to you, so hopefully you'll get even more readers. Love that!