Friday, June 26, 2009

Open Letter Friday 6/26

Dear Mouth,

Just because you ate does not mean you need to eat more. If you *MUST* keep moving, please talk with co-workers. Eventually you will say something stupid and get socked in the jaw. Then… you won’t want to keep moving.

I appreciate the help,
The Stomach

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Dear Stomach,

Quit your gurgling, how about you quit growing and I won’t have to keep finding items to fill it up! Oh, and in defense… I RARELY say something stupid that gets me socked in the jaw… I usually just say something that gets eyes a glare from the Dave.

Mouthing off,
The Mouth

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Dear Stomach and Mouth,

Keep me out of your petty games. I’m not longer WATCHING what you eat. Fend for yourself, and if you happen to pick up a diaper or a rotten apple, we will see if you will continue getting me in trouble with … the Dave.

Glaringly,
The Eyes

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Dear three traitors,

I am NOT picking up a stinky diaper or anything else that is squishy, dirty, or will stick to my skin. Do you KNOW how busy I am? If it were up to me, I’d be at the salon, getting a fabulous massage, lotioned and painted, Not here listening to the three of you yammer on like you are a bunch of old ladies!

Flipping you off,
The hand

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Dear mutinous dogs,

I have listened to this banter since lunch. Honestly…

Mouth, you did NOT need to eat that cheesecake, it was not necessary.
Stomach, you should perhaps slim it down a bit, you are gaining a little more speed than mouth can keep up with (Butt… you should listen up!).
Eyes, just avoid his look when Mouth gets you in trouble.. it’s easier than trying to give him the puppy dog look.. it rarely works.
Hand… you do enough of the flipping off in traffic must you REALLY do it right now?

Now… get back in line… or I am going to check out and you do NOT want to see me all blank gazed and hollow.

Shape up!
The Brain

(This is what happens when Lilith has a large lunch, very little sleep and wants date night to start NOW!)

6 comments:

Tim said...

"Dear Mutinous Dogs"! I love it.

Your brain is a pirate captain, apparently ;)

Lilith Silvermane said...

Yeppers.... I stole that phrase from Dave, he calls the guys on the baseball team that when he's on the mound and balls are flying by them.

Oh.... and YES she's the capt'n... what other part of my body would be the capt'n?

Hmmmm, I do see what you mean now that I say that outloud.

Let me clarify...

My brain is MOSTLY in control... only when I am not around food, Dave, alcohol or a bed.

Hmmm... I wonder who's really in control.

WackyMummy said...

You are a very interesting person. =)

Miranda said...

LOL!!!!!!

nancy said...

~giggle~

ahhh. date nights. I miss those. I miss feeling someone loves me.

Su Chin said...

Hi, this is Su Chin from Parent Reviewers. Have been trying to reach you via email..and getting no response. Hope everything is alright. Pls email me when you can.

Thanks