Thursday, October 16, 2008

She said- Part 4

I woke up the next morning. I curled up with my girls, kissed on them and finally dragged my butt out of bed; my mind was swimming with thoughts of him.

“It went well, right?”

“Did we really stay out until 3am?”

“Is there something wrong with him?”

I was exhausted the next day, so I refused to allow my judgment to formulate fully. Sleep deprivation can be a horrible time to try and analyze things.

I was searching for a reason not to continue the dates. It was fear that tore me apart so much, yes, it was just one date, yes, and we have only spoken for a week…. Yes, I can trash a relationship faster than anyone I know.

Now wait, it was only one date. I can make it through another; neither of us can get “hurt” without the other’s permission right?

The next date was dinner at his house, steaks, some corn and black bean salsa and pasta salad. He lives in a nice quiet neighborhood, the view out his back window is spectacular, and the changing of the Colorado leaves, slight breeze coming in from the open window was intoxicating. The scent of the steaks mixed in… well… needless to say I was feeling quite content. We talked, we watched “A Knights Tale” (cute inside joke, so it was fitting that it came on.)

When the date ended… Wait… did I mention he had strong lips? Amazing strong lips that curl ever so cute when he smiles, which he does a lot. Oh.. and his eyes, just as magical, he has this look he gets when he wants to say something but can’t find the words, it’s coy and playful with enough emotion behind them to keep a girl questioning.

Ok… on with my story. The date ended, and I knew this was going to be a long one. If I could keep my head out of the way, and keep out of trouble, I’d be fabulous.

We talked all the time, at least three hours every night and text messages during the day. Venting is something we’ve become comfortable with, calling one another when a job goes wrong (he’s a hard working man, I love this about him), or when a “friend” tries to get in the way of things.

Everything was moving along smoothly, we are open when we communicate, even if the other person doesn’t want to hear the answer. He is an amazing man, he has “rules”, dedication and a playful side that makes me smile.

So what happened last Friday night?... What did I say that sent us both into a spiral that has strained things a little?...

Oh, who knows, my mouth moves MUCH faster than my brain cells… sometimes I should keep my epiphanies to myself…… Silly girl….

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