Friday, October 17, 2008

He said- Solo

It had been the obligatory 3 dates and it was time to re-evaluate. I was dreading this moment. I knew what was the right play, she is so different that this could not possibly work. I was going to get hurt over this one and why should I open myself up to that. She had already impacted me in such a manner that mentally I was a mess. I had exactly 3 days before we saw each other again and a decision had to be made. I am so bad with relationships and the emotions associated with them. It has been the downfall of all of my serious girlfriends, and to top it off she just came off a year and a half sabbatical from dating, because she had gotten hurt. I ran through all of the scenarios, and they all pointed towards being hurt or worse hurting her, again.

There was a thirty minute stretch where I was going to end it. I did not have a reason I just knew it was the only way to protect her and I.

We had to have the talk. We talked that night and I asked where she was with this whole thing. I held on to every answer, no it was more like every word. Just hearing her voice changed my mind she put me at ease and the brain retracted. It became clear that for the first time in my life I was traveling down a path with no destination in mind. No motives, plans or even supplies for this trek.
You need to keep in mind I am a very deliberate guy and I always have a plan and a few more in case the first one goes to pot.
I was liberated by a hippie. Doors began to open that have always been closed and I saw a person who I had never met in the mirror. I woke up the next morning with a spring in my step and my eyes looking no more than a few days out. This is so uncharacteristic of me, but the decision was made, I am going to give this a shot and see what happens.

Two days later she drops the bomb.

1 comment:

margelina said...

Lilith, You are killing me!!! WTH did you say? Is it what I think?? Where is your side? Aahh!!!