Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Too late to apologize... ?

I Am Sorry

How often do you hear those words?

Someone gets in your way at the store, “I’m sorry”

You make an error at work, “I’m sorry.”

Even placing someone on hold, you apologize for the inconvenience.

Ever try to get a toddler or even a 5 year old to apologize? It’s like forcing them to speak with the fat man in the red suit. It … won’t… happen.

I have taught my daughter’s to sign it, doesn’t make it easier.

I have seen mother’s at parks yelling at their kids to apologize for a wrong doing against a playmate.

I have spanked my daughter for NOT apologizing, time out, and chastising. She will do it, but only after 15 long minutes after the issue, and followed by scores of tears.

What do they know that we don’t remember?

Is there something behind the apology that means more to them?

Perhaps we are desensitized to it; perhaps we hear it so often we are numb to the real meaning.

I am sorry …

To me….?

It means, I won’t do it again, I won’t allow my transgression to harm you again.

What does it mean to you?

Do you have problems with your kids saying it when they hurt someone?

How do we help our kids understand the true meaning of the word, without having them dread saying the words?


Michelle@lifeinawhirlwind said...

This is one thing Morgan is really good about. At a young age, we would put her in a timeout. When her time was up, we would explain what she did, that her time was up and she could come out when she apologized. Sometimes she would sit in there forever, but eventually she would say she was sorry. Now it seems to come more naturally to her.

WackyMummy said...

Evan seems to "get it", but what it is he gets I don't know.... but he will apologize if he sees I'm upset (and I don't mean mad here), or if he knows he upset somebody. The rest of the time coaching seems to work. But then again, I know I over-apologize, so his occasional reluctance to apologize makes me look twice at the situation to see if he really needs to... and if he does, then we work on it. Does that make any sense?

Stephanie said...

I just wanted to share a terrific children's book on this topic. It's titled "Martha Doesn't Say Sorry." And it is awesome. I definitely recommend it.