Friday, December 12, 2008

Freaky Friday- A Creative Journal

What would you do if you completely trusted yourself? How would you act? Would you still be with your significant other? Would you still be at your job? How would you treat your children or those who are in your life everyday? Do you think the world would notice?

Pretend… for one day you trusted yourself fully…

Here is my… “reality”. (If I fully trusted myself)

Journal Entry of Trust

Today I took the step. I opened the business I’ve been thinking about.

Doubts:

*What if I fail?

*How will I pay for all the required supplies?

*It will take up too much of my time.

*I am not as good as some of the other people making them.

I tossed these aside. I wrote Trisha and told her to start up the website. I got my name finalized (That I’ve been fighting with it for months, however something with the name Lily seems to be most appropriate these days.) and I started taking pictures.

My children will see what it is to be a strong, independent woman, to see that risk… it’s who we all are, we need to take that risk and prove once and for all that we did it on OUR terms… not the terms set down by someone else.

I trust myself to make the right decision on this; I am honest with myself and know that even if this fails, it does not mean that I am a failure.

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I let go of the walls.

I trust myself with my own heart.

How many times have I held back who I am and who I love?

I have walked away so many times because I was scared.

However, they all lead me to where I am. All of my past has brought me to my present and my future looms in the distance with a fairly evident stamp of its path.

I can open my heart to him finally, admitting to myself that I can survive the heartbreak (Though, with him, I don’t think it will come). I will allow him inside where very few people get to come and treat him as I do my friends… and as my boyfriend.

He’s worth that to me, and I’m worth the happiness that I feel when I am around him.

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I quit my job and went to work for more money and more responsibility.

I am a highly intelligent woman who can move mountains. I’ve proved it time and time again, I no longer worry about the fight up against other women or men… it’s something that I can prove to them and conquer any obstacles that might arise.

NO ONE can stop me from my path… only my own head and the doubts are no longer in the way.

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This was an interesting Freaky Friday to do. I had never participated before, and I’m glad I did. It allowed me to do some self-actualizing and see that most of these things are not a huge leap for me. In fact… #1 and #2 would be easy to do… very easy, with little to no risk… so why am I not trusting myself in those areas?

Huge amounts of Thanks to A Creative Journal for this idea!

3 comments:

New Unschooler said...

LOL This is awesome to think about. If I fully trusted myself - I'd sell everything and run away to Alaska and build my own cabin, with hubby and boys and live in it.. atleast for one whole year. I would not bother with electricity, or anything of that sort. It would be so much fun. And, if we decided we didn't want to stay another year.. we'd go and live someplace else for another year. So much fun to be had out there if you're not tied down to a bunch of junk and a paycheck-to-paycheck job.

margelina said...

Wow, thanks for sharing that! What an amazing way to gain insight into your life. It is hard to be that honest with yourself, even harder to completely trust yourself.

Lilith Silvermane said...

Thank you both for responding... that was a bit intense to be working on and I enjoyed it! :)