Tuesday, October 13, 2015

The Battle against being Invisible

There is something people don’t talk about enough. You hear about it in whispers.
Middle aged women all over the world experience it every day. We hit 40, hustle between jobs, family and a wine night out with our girlfriends if we can fit it in, only to find out that the only person that sees us, are the ones that don’t want us to leave.

We start to feel invisible.

If we are lucky our kids still see us as someone who is the most beautiful woman in the world. Our significant others look at us right before bed as we are sliding in next to them and give us that “Welcome Home” look.

But what about us?

I am a 42 year old, size 18 woman that hasn’t seen herself in over a year. Now, I am not one that has a low self-esteem, I seriously think I’m the most slammin’ hot woman with amazing skin, exquisite hair and a sense of humor that draws people to me in droves. But I still see myself as a size 8, because that’s what my ego says I am.

My ego is fierce; she’s a beast of a woman.

It occurred to me when I went out for the first time and acknowledge the world around me that I’m no longer acknowledge by the rest of the world. When did people stop smiling at me to get my attention? And then I walked by my reflection in the store window, “Who in the hades is that woman?”

My ego became less fierce for about two months. It’s the only time I’ve ever felt what people would call depression.

Thankfully, my parents taught me never to be invisible, even to me.

I decided that it was time for me to start seeing ME, not my waist/butt size or what I wanted other people to see.

What did I change?

*I started looking people in the eyes when I spoke with them. If you haven’t tried this, do it. It changes how people react to you; it shows them that you are present with them.

*I bought clothes that fit, clothes that I felt comfortable in and that accentuated my best assets.

*I stopped brushing off the look my husband gives me. He isn’t doing it because he has to; he does it because he means it.

When I started making those changes, I could look in the mirror at me. It was like the world slowly came in focus again. I was not invisible to me or to the people I love. I was not invisible to the people I met on a daily basis because I forced them to look at me.

 I quit being invisible to myself and quickly realized that perhaps I wasn’t as invisible to the world around me, perhaps it was me that tried to become invisible to them.

So today, look at yourself in the mirror. Really look, don’t make any judgments on what you see. Look at yourself in the eyes; force yourself to see what it is the rest of the world will see today.

You – All of the amazing that is YOU!

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