Thursday, August 7, 2008

Relationships are for the dogs....

As most of you know… I’m single and have been for over a year (I was 6 months pregnant when we split up). This is the longest I’ve ever been single. Usually it is a few weeks before I find someone to serve as a “distraction”.

Much of it is by choice, however, mainly because I haven’t met anyone that I find intriguing, and because I’m still a sucker for my ex. (Possibly the only one I’ve ever been like this for.)

He and I are still friends… we have two daughters together and still talk every night and just catch up with one another.

He called me today and asked me if I would call the doctors (I went to his appt on Monday; that is how the whole elevator issues happened); to talk to them about pain meds he’s taking. I agreed… blah blah. I told him that if she can’t talk to me, then I’ll have her call him at 5pm, because he’s home. He won’t be home tonight…. Weird right?

Now, a little bit of back story…..

He has a girl at work, that he’s had feeling for, one of the reasons he and I split up. She’s pregnant, (by someone else, right before he and she were going to start dating), she is 30 weeks, and in the hospital due to complications, the daddy of the baby is not a good guy and hasn’t shown up to the hospital but for an hour she will have the baby in the next few days, if not sooner. It’s a sad situation.

But, tonight…tonight he’s going to be in the hospital with her. NOT at home dealing with doctors phone calls for his pain meds… I’ll be doing that.

I’m a sucker… I told him I would do it and then found out that he’s going to be in downtown Denver to see her.

I’ve had the girls every night since Saturday. Because he’s been in pain, (granted, I’ve offered it to be nice) but does that matter… nope, he can take the night to go and see her, but not to see his girls. He doesn’t pay child support, he doesn’t pay daycare….

Wow… I really, really need to find a way to stop being so dumb for him… I HATE feeling like a kid here… I’m in my mid-30’s I should be way over this!

Have ya’ll ever been dumb for someone? How did you finally get over it? Any advice?...


nancy said...

I've been dumb for boys before, but only many many years ago.


At least acknowleging you have a problem is the first step, right?

Joanna said...

Many years ago when I was still married to my first husband (long story think I've posted before). I was dating this guy that for some strange reason fell head over heals for...(looking back I was crazy) Not the point. It took months to get over and past him, the way I did it, was well with a distraction. It was a guy from work that got me over that dude. I mean, sometimes that is what it takes. And while I was dating the distraction, I met Zack.

I hate that your going through this. It really sucks! Start hunting a distraction. ; )

Nydia said...

Everybody gets dumb for someone who, even being a wonderful guy, is not right for us. Of course I've been there, done that... I had a boyfriend who was everything tome but although a really nice guy, it was a one-way road. It took me too long to let go, but time heals. I had to understand that he would be with someone else one day and I had to go on withmy life and he wouldn't see how perfect I was... You know, the wheel wisely turns, and I'm complete now. Let time help you and try stopping doing his things!
Love & bright blessings from Nydia.

Brittany said...

Men just have a way of sucking women back in... I think it's something in their making.

Pat yourself on the back for acknowledging the problem. I think you need to voice the issue to him, however... and he needs to start helping out with daycare and what not... because that's just not fair!

Anonymous said...

The only way is to say "STOOPPP" when any thoughts arrive.

Cookie Sunshine said...

This would be a great book...if it wasn't your life. Ouch.

A long time ago someone said to me that I was trying to get over someone using the same method that a child tries to use when they remove a know...taking it off tiny bits at a hurts every time you pull that tiny bit off and you sit there knowing that you still have to keep working to take it takes FOREVER. Then my friend said "you's always better if you just rip that sucker stings for a minute...but then it's so much better".

Rip that sucker off! You've got two sweeties who need your love and attention and a guy who's hanging out at a hospital with someone else. He's not thinking about. He's TAKING ADVANTAGE of you because you are AVAILABLE.

That hurts. I know it does because...I've been there and I've done that. You don't know me and so if I say it, I just sound like a really unfeeling person.

But I've been visiting your blog and I like you. I think that there are so many amazing people out there who would love to enjoy a family and be with a family...not ignore you. Why isn't he paying child support? They are his children too!

This does not sound good!

Back off, let go and move on!

Wow. Forgive me for being such a nosey rosey...but you asked, so there it is.

You have an entire life ahead of you and there is a huge pool of great people just like you!

Cookie Sunshine said...

CONGRATULATIONS on being chosen a reviewer for Lipstick to Crayons!!! You are ULTRA COOL!!!


nancy said...

Heya - are you going to go to the colorado bloggers meeting next saturday? It's in denver. I think it's 9-12. Do you want to go with me? It's at Meg's (taking the statistical bullet).

nancy said...

p.s.- I nominated you for the Pink Rose award. Come on over to see it!

Lisa~Crazy Adventures in Parenting said...

*huge huge hugs*

Stumbled across your blog. Been there done that with being stupid for boys. You're too nice, but in a way, that can be a bad thing (getting you hurt) but it's SUCH a good thing in that, we could all learn from you *hugs again*